Modified Whole30 - week 1

Dustin and I embarked on our healthier eating plan on Monday. It is going pretty well so far. We're not doing a rigid Whole30 as we've done in the past but rather seeking to strike a balance between perfection with the inevitable day 31 binge and finding a sustainable way to eat that allows life to occur. For example, I'm going on a girls weekend this weekend. I'm going to make the best choices I can while I'm there but by no means will I restrict my food categories.

Here are my food journals for the week so far:

Monday 1/7/19

Breakfast- egg bake (egg, sweet potato, bacon, spinach), banana

Lunch - small baked potato, buffalo chicken, peas, apple 

Dinner - spaghetti squash, marinara, meatball, broccoli 

Snack - 1/2 apple, 1/2 cup grapes, 1oz almonds

Food journal for 1/8/19

Breakfast – egg bake, apple

Lunch – spaghetti squash, broccoli, marinara, meatball, banana

Dinner – chicken vegetable soup

Snack – grapes, almonds

Wednesday 1/9/19
Breakfast - egg bake, banana, PB
Lunch - chicken vegetable soup, apple, PB
Dinner - taco salad (lettuce, tomato, GB, guac, salsa), carrots and guac
Snack - grapes

Observations:
More fruit - I tended to shy away from fruit but always find I enjoy that more when doing a more Whole30 approach.

More fat - day 1 I didn't have as much fat and was really hungry between meals. Adding in some PB with my fruit really helped keep me full longer between meals.

For the record I know that PB is not Whole30 nor are some of the condiments I'm using. The point is not a perfect Whole30 but something as close to it as I can achieve without going insane. It will be 1000% better than what was going on over the holidays. I can't believe how much better I feel when I don't have refined grains and sugars.

I was sharing food journals with my mom and brother but they don't seem as into it and I don't want to be a pest so I'm going to share here instead. 

TGIF

After 2 holiday weeks where the holidays fell on Monday and Tuesday I'm really ready for a normal week next week. Even if that means more work days! I am currently sitting in the car dealership waiting for my passenger airbag to be repaired because of a recall notice. There was an apparent risk of explosion so probably good to get that taken care of.

Food Journal Thursday 1/3/19
Breakfast - breakfast burrito from McDonalds
Lunch - egg bake, 1/2 cup peas
Snack - toast, PB, honey, banana slices
Snack - apple
Dinner - pork tenderloin, roasted carrots, 1/2 cup wild rice

Key takeaways:
I have weird hangups about eating before I think I'm ready which often leads to waiting too long to eat and then I'm so hungry I make bad choices or need to compromise on quality of food. Yesterday's breakfast is a perfect example. I had a doctor appointment and didn't want to eat before that because I'm vain about the scale. After that I needed to make a site visit for work so wasn't going to be in a place to heat up my egg bake. My solution was to grab a burrito from McDonalds. Calorie wise not the end of the world but certainly not real whole food.

Either I need to find more portable meal options or just eat when I have the chance and worry about being hungry later. I always panic that I'm going to get hungry at some future point. As if I couldn't just have a snack.

If I feel the need to snack I should choose healthy options. I did that today for the most part.

I've started exchanging food journals with my mom and brother for added accountability. We all have similar issues so might be helpful for us to see how we're alike and different. Time will tell. For now I feel confident. The scale isn't moving much this week but it's down from yesterday so that is good.

A Better Day

Well, yesterday was night and day different from the day before. I stuck to my planned meals, didn't eat any snacks and didn't eat any dessert or candy. I did feel pretty bad all day with hideous heartburn from the moment I woke up almost all the way to bedtime. It's a great reminder that diet choices are the cause of what I used to think were just the side effects of pregnancy.

I went to the doctor this morning for my 32 week check up. Baby is measuring right on and heartbeat sounds great. The baby is a little gymnast so I haven't been worried at all! The doctor did say that my weight gain is a little above what they would like to see. She recommended scaling back on sugar and carbs which is right in line with what Dustin and I are planning for our January Whole30 starting on Monday the 7th. I am confident that I can keep my weight in a healthy range and it will feel great to shed some of the extra pounds that I have gained that are unnecessary.

Food journal for yesterday:
Breakfast - Egg bake (eggs, spinach, homemade ground pork, sweet potato)
Lunch - pot roast, potatoes, carrots, peas
Snack - toast, PB, banana, honey
Dinner - kung pao shrimp, 1/3 cup rice, 1/2 cup peas

I slept so much better last night although the vivid dreams continue so I never feel fully rested.

I was invited to participate in an 8 week yoga class at work which brings me right to my due date. That will be a great way to stay flexible up to that time.

I am feeling excited and confident about the next few weeks and getting back on track. It is possible!!

Here we go again

Every time this happens I wonder how many more times I wake up feeling sick from all the sugar and junk food I ate the day before. How many times will I spend an entire day stuffing my face with food I know is unhealthy and will lead to these feelings of guilt and shame. Even more fitting that it's the new year when everyone makes their resolutions.

For today my focus is on getting back to the healthy habits that I know serve my physical and mental health best. There is nothing I can do about the damage I inflicted yesterday. I can only resolve to remember this feeling the next time I think it's a good idea to fall into a giant bowl of ice cream.

Here's what happened. Every year on January 1st we have what we call "Yes Day." The kids call the shots and no matter what they ask (within reason) we have to say Yes. It's a really fun day of family together time. Unfortunately we've managed to tie a lot of junky food choices into the fun.

Food journal for 1/1/19:
Breakfast - 3 pancakes with butter, syrup and banana slices, 2 eggs
Lunch - cheeseburger kids meal with fries from Culvers, scoop of custard (salted peanut butter with brownie pieces)
Snack - Ritz crackers & Nilla wafers
Dinner - slice Heggie's pizza, side salad, sweet & spicy sausage bites (6 pieces)
Snack - ice cream (at least 2 cups) with Cool Whip and caramel sauce

Observation:
If I have sugar at breakfast the rest of the day is harder to manage.

Plan:
Keep to savory breakfasts that emphasize protein and fat. No sugary foods like waffles, pancakes, etc.

Observation:
When I eat processed or packaged foods I seem to crave more and eat mindlessly between meals.

Plan:
Focus on real, unprocessed foods and avoid snacking between meals.

Observation:
If I make a plan or get it in my head that I am going to eat something I will eat it regardless of how I feel. For example, I was not hungry for ice cream last night but I had it in my plan for the day to eat an obnoxious sundae so that is what I did. I ended up waking up at 12:30am feeling like I was going to throw up.

Plan:
Go back to not having bedtime snacks. That is apparently code for ice cream or other foods that do not serve my nutrition or health goals. It also impacts my sleep especially while pregnant.

Observation:
When I'm not tracking I'm more likely to make poor choices.

Plan:
Food journal every day. Habit tracking to confirm better choices.

That is probably enough for now. I have my food journal done and my tracking sheets are on the fridge and ready to go. We're going to slowly ease into a more Whole30 approach to eating over the next week to reset some of the bad habits we've fallen back into.

Stereotypical New Year's Post

I haven't posted anything since July 2016 and boy has a lot happened since then. Rather than spending time catching you up on the past I will share a snapshot of where I am today. I am 32 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child, I have a new job and we moved into a new house. Needless to say everything about our life has changed in some way over the last 8 months or so. Now as the New Year looms I wanted to be thoughtful about how I approach 2019 and the challenges we will surely face.

1. Baby - after 7 years we're diving back into the deep end of the baby pool. We're excited and much more laid back which feels good except that we have procrastinated A LOT. We're 8 weeks out from our due date and have purchased 1 thing for the baby (a video monitor on Black Friday). When we moved in June we donated or threw out all remaining baby items we had. Three days later we had a positive pregnancy test. We do have an Amazon list with some necessity items picked out. Over the next couple weeks I'd like to amass the basics (diapers, wipes, burp clothes, bassinet) so at least we'll feel confident bringing baby home. We don't know the gender so that helps us feel okay waiting since we may want to purchase differently depending on whether it's a boy or a girl.

2. Body - this is thoroughly entwined with the baby topic as I've been trying to be very careful about weight gain during this pregnancy. I have not been able to exercise as much as I had hoped I have been good about my diet. So far I have only gained 23 pounds. Considering I gained 50+ with each of my boys this feels like major victory. I have been monitoring portion sizes and really trying to limit sugar intake. I also weigh myself regularly for accountability. I am very motivated to get myself back in shape after the baby comes. I will focus on healthy diet to begin with and then add back exercise as I am able to. I have really been missing running and of course I love a good strength workout so those will be my go to choices in the spring. I have had fewer side effects of pregnancy this time around which has been great. Almost no heartburn, sleeping is still relatively good and I can still shave my own legs.

3. Job - my job changed over the summer about the time I found out I was expecting. This has placed some uncertainty on my future roles as I will be out for 12 weeks at a crucial time of leadership change. I just have to trust that the right job will be where I need it when I need it.

Goals for 2019
1. No formal resolutions - it seems to be a recipe for failure. I'm focusing on progress not perfection so baby steps are more important than big bang over the top achievements.

2. Food journal sharing - I plan to blog my daily food journals for accountability and transparency. I would love other eyes on what I'm doing to ensure that if there are obvious flaws I'm missing someone can point it out. Otherwise I'll just keep doing the same thing and wondering why I'm not getting any results. I would love to have a partner/coach but I can't think of anyone in my life who is in the same place as me so I'll see if someone appears.

3. Sugar - I'm going to make peace with sugar this year. It does not make me feel good when I eat it so why do I keep overindulging. I'd like to break the broken record of my adult life that involves binging on sugar, feeling terrible, and then doing it all over again. When I've done Whole30's or other sugar breaks I have felt amazing. I'm going to focus in January on eliminating as much sugar as possible. That said, I will not restrict myself at parties or other special occasions which in the past has led to more binging than would have occurred if I just would have had the dessert in the first place.

I'm sure there's more but for now that is what is on my mind. I'll be back with food journals and updates along the way. Happy New Year!

Pre-Tough Mudder anxiety and week in review

It's been another busy week. I have been working really hard at staying present in each moment and evaluating my hunger to see if it's real or just some emotion that I need to deal with. I have also been working on the idea that all food is ok. I'm still scared of pasta, bread, certain sauces and dressings, the list goes on and on. I had an appointment today with my dietitian and she is hesitant to put me on an official meal plan beacuse of my perfectionist tendancies. My goal for this week is to introduce more grains, eat something small before working out in the morning, and writing down my safe, caution and off limits foods. I will add those things to my food journal with notes to see how that goes.

As far as the rest of my life goes I'm super excited about doing the Tough  Mudder tomorrow. It will be my second one and my husbands first.

Two years ago I did the Mudder with 5 other girls and it was absolutely amazing. We had such a fun time and learned a lot about ourselves. I rode the high of that race for days!

2014 Twin Cities Mudder

We were supposed to run last year with a large group of couples but a freak storm came through the night before and trashed the course so we got cancelled. It was such a bummer for my husband who hadn't run one before and was so excited. He's finally going to get his chance. This year our larger group has shrunk to four people (me & 3 guys)! Fortunately I've been running a lot so at least I can keep up on that part. The strength parts I'm going to count on them. I'll bring you a complete update next week.

My other goal is to add more pictures to this blog. I love blogs with lots of pictures so I'm going to up my game. It's hard to remember to take pictures of everything I do.

So many updates

Wow...what a weekend. We had our annual Whiz Bang Days town festival starting Thursday night and we've been going pretty non-stop since then. Last Thursday was my first visit for nutritional counseling with a registered dietitian. She gave me a book to take home and some homework chapters to read. The appointment was more of an intake and getting to know each other. We did not get to the actual meal plan but she did ask that I keep a food journal until our visit on Friday.

A couple things she said really stuck in my mind over the weekend. She told me to honor what my body was asking for by eating what sounded good at the time. She also said that dessert could/would be included in my life. Those statements and the overall idea that I would get some help with my eating caused a giant sigh of relief. All of a sudden the idea of obsessing over food felt exhausting so I just didn't do it. I read from the two books I had been given and had several epiphanies about getting to the root cause of my eating. Again, the reinforcement that this isn't my fault, or that I just didn't try hard enough, but that I really had an issue to be fixed.

As I mentioned we had our annual town celebration which in the past meant 3-4 days of eating and drinking with no control. This year I gave myself permission to just get through the weekend with no judgment. Friday I decided early in the week I was going to stay home, go to bed early and cut out a whole night of temptation. I followed through with that plan and felt great Saturday morning. We had a great family day playing pickleball, lunch with my family, a family kickball game and a party with our friends. The party went great. I was able to navigate the buffet and dessert table without going overboard. It really helped to have the food inside the garage so it wasn't constantly visible. Sunday we went to the parade, played volleyball and went to the fireworks with the kids.

Monday morning I started my 8 week program through FitnessBlender. I had to complete my Physical Fitness Test which included running a mile, push ups, squats, a plank and sit and reach. I will do it again at the end of 8 weeks to see how I've progressed. This morning I did my first official workout of the plan. It included a warm up, a HIIT section, a lower body toning section and a cool down. I'm not letting myself look ahead at the next day's workout because I tend to psych myself up and think it's going to be too hard and I skip it.

My focus for this week is continuing to explore my feelings and try to identify the true source of hunger. It's amazing how many times I'll say "I'm hungry" out loud to justify a snack that I'm really not hungry for.